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We Love You, Arsenal
Arse, you took a heavy foot up your team. You wanted to lose by only 7 and a half goals but were disappointed by that extra goal. We feel your pain and share your blah blah yada yada and other good...
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The Man-U Dilemma: Why They Keep Beating Their Friends Like That
The following is an expert analysis of the Man-U vs Chelsea match from a leading international soccer critic who has reviewed thousands of matches in his mind. So he’s legit by all standards. So...
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Uganda Cranes vs Kenya Chaps. We Go (Us, Not Kenya)
Are you a patriotic Ugandan? No, I don’t mean are you a registered voter, prompt taxpayer and active participant in issues of local government. I mean patriotic as in did you support Sharon O? That’s...
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Why Uganda Lost: This Time It Had Nothing To Do With Lil Wayne
Here’s another informed soccer analysis from our expert soccer critic who has reviewed many international matches in his mind. I know Kenyans are now like, “Habari nini habari ya habari habari”, which,...
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How was Golola Moses made? A Fairy Tale
This morning I was out in the yard at the ULK offices, looking into the sky waiting for it to look back, when I was approached by a motley bunch of urchins. Are you Streetsider? They demanded. I...
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Applique to Dear Matthias Kiwanuka of New York Giants.
He's going down Dear Matthias Kiwanuka, star of the American football team New York Giants How are you and how is America? I am sure it is wonderful. Even though there is Credit Crunch and gangstas...
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Inside Info About Robin Van Persie Of SuperSport
“This is my attempt at becoming a SuperSport Commentator. I know I have it in me, no matter what you think or say (Chuckle).” – Ernest Bazanye impostor. Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie, also known as...
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Everything You Need To Know About Africa Cup Of Nations
Everyone is talking about The Africa Cup of Nations these days, even the people who know nothing about it. If you are in the latter category you will need help in order to continue tying yourself into...
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I Hear That Golola Won. Golola Who?
Golola Moses Of Uganda, one of the nation’s most famous joking subjects, in spite of his own denials, had a fight this weekend which, wonder of wonders, he actually won. This was such a shock that we...
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How To Become A Kiprotich
By The Last Airbender Kuzooka Conrad Good morning class? *Class stands up!* Good morning Mr. Kanabi! Now, dear childrens, I want to teach you how to be a Kiprotich. It has come to our notice that...
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